Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Struggles
I've been trying to find the right words for this blog post, to try and explain what I've been feeling the last few days. It's a mixture of sadness, grief, regret, guilt, and confusion.
Monday morning during my 2nd class, all teaching was put on hold because one of our students, a 14year old 9th grade boy, was missing. He'd been swimming in the river a few km from my town the day before and never returned home. We got together, about 30 of us, to set out lookng for him. Right before we left, as I was putting on my poncho, I was told the women were going to stay behind- I couldn't go. I told them I too had eyes to help look and I was going.
We went out into the bush along the path to the river. Because of all the rain, the river has formed little pools that people like to 'tomar banho' or to go swimming in. When we reached the pool we saw his clothes in a neat pile-my heart dropped. Several boys jumped in the water to look for him. After about 20 mins his body was found a bit down the river. He was removed from the water, placed in blankets, and carried the 3km back to my town.
One thing that's been hard to handle in the last two days, besides seeing one of my students being pulled from the river, is the lack of emotion surrounding the whole situation. On Monday, the only glimmer of emotion I saw was when Comiche- one of my students from last year- saw the boy in the water for the first time. Naturally, he yelled and swam away, but then went back. There was no crying, no apparent signs of grief or distress, except classes were cancelled for the rest of the day. I guess the lack of emotion comes from self preservation- so much death and loss occurs here that they can't let each incident sink in all the way. I guess this is all part of living in a third world country.
Monday morning during my 2nd class, all teaching was put on hold because one of our students, a 14year old 9th grade boy, was missing. He'd been swimming in the river a few km from my town the day before and never returned home. We got together, about 30 of us, to set out lookng for him. Right before we left, as I was putting on my poncho, I was told the women were going to stay behind- I couldn't go. I told them I too had eyes to help look and I was going.
We went out into the bush along the path to the river. Because of all the rain, the river has formed little pools that people like to 'tomar banho' or to go swimming in. When we reached the pool we saw his clothes in a neat pile-my heart dropped. Several boys jumped in the water to look for him. After about 20 mins his body was found a bit down the river. He was removed from the water, placed in blankets, and carried the 3km back to my town.
One thing that's been hard to handle in the last two days, besides seeing one of my students being pulled from the river, is the lack of emotion surrounding the whole situation. On Monday, the only glimmer of emotion I saw was when Comiche- one of my students from last year- saw the boy in the water for the first time. Naturally, he yelled and swam away, but then went back. There was no crying, no apparent signs of grief or distress, except classes were cancelled for the rest of the day. I guess the lack of emotion comes from self preservation- so much death and loss occurs here that they can't let each incident sink in all the way. I guess this is all part of living in a third world country.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Integration
Sometimes all it takes are a few smiles and hugs and I can have one of the best days I can remember.
I started school this morning, and to my surprise we actually started- there were students when the bell rang at 7:00! Typically on the first day nobody really shows up- students or teachers. Today was different. I taught 5 classes and in all but one of them I had at least 15 students. At first everyone was pretty quiet, probably a mixture of it being the first day and them not understanding a word I was saying, but they got into it after awhile. We sang the alphabet and almost everyone was totally into it. I think I’m really going to like this teaching-younger-kids thing.
I was done by noon so that felt fantastic. I spent the afternoon on my veranda, talking with kids that came by to play and making friends with one of the puppies that’s been afraid of me. Lote and Rafito, the brother-sister duo who lives next door, have become part of my daily life. They come over, come inside to say hi, chit chat (granted I still can’t understand a word either of them says except ‘Mana Ana!’) and play around on the veranda. I helped Lote eat her bag of ice which she was spilling all over herself, and then she and I took a walk around the neighborhood. I went back to their house and sat outside on a mattress and joked around, let them climb all over me, and just laughed. I don’t know how to describe it- usually the kids play around me not really with me, but today I was right in the middle of it all. It felt nice to have them run up to me and not want to let go, or to crawl into my lap, throw their arms around my neck and lay their head on my chest. It really feels like I’m part of something here, not so much an outsider anymore. Granted I’m saying that after spending an afternoon with children no older than 8, none of whom can speak English or Portuguese, but still, it was nice.
I started school this morning, and to my surprise we actually started- there were students when the bell rang at 7:00! Typically on the first day nobody really shows up- students or teachers. Today was different. I taught 5 classes and in all but one of them I had at least 15 students. At first everyone was pretty quiet, probably a mixture of it being the first day and them not understanding a word I was saying, but they got into it after awhile. We sang the alphabet and almost everyone was totally into it. I think I’m really going to like this teaching-younger-kids thing.
I was done by noon so that felt fantastic. I spent the afternoon on my veranda, talking with kids that came by to play and making friends with one of the puppies that’s been afraid of me. Lote and Rafito, the brother-sister duo who lives next door, have become part of my daily life. They come over, come inside to say hi, chit chat (granted I still can’t understand a word either of them says except ‘Mana Ana!’) and play around on the veranda. I helped Lote eat her bag of ice which she was spilling all over herself, and then she and I took a walk around the neighborhood. I went back to their house and sat outside on a mattress and joked around, let them climb all over me, and just laughed. I don’t know how to describe it- usually the kids play around me not really with me, but today I was right in the middle of it all. It felt nice to have them run up to me and not want to let go, or to crawl into my lap, throw their arms around my neck and lay their head on my chest. It really feels like I’m part of something here, not so much an outsider anymore. Granted I’m saying that after spending an afternoon with children no older than 8, none of whom can speak English or Portuguese, but still, it was nice.
Monday, January 17, 2011
A New Year
Feels good to be back in the swing of things. School opening was today- it was a pretty typical ceremony- long, hot, somewhat confusing, and conducted in several languages- but it was enjoyable. It was nice to be back with the other teachers, to see some of my old students, and to be recognized rather than stared at. The jarring part of today came when I was told I’d be teaching 8th and 9th grade in the mornings, rather than 12th grade in the afternoon as I’d expected. I was pretty frazzled at first- I was prepared for the 12th graders, their enthusiasm, their knowledge base, their (relative) maturity- and I was all ready to use lesson plans from last year I’ve been compiling. However, in the last 8 hours I’ve become pretty excited about the little guys- I’ve already planned my first 9 lessons and I have the first trimester laid out. I get to teach the alphabet, ‘to be’, colors, body parts, greetings, all the basic stuff, and I can dance around and sing songs and even if they think I’m weird and crazy, they’re young enough they won’t be too cool to join in. I guess one downside is that I’m teaching 30 hours, everyday from 7:00 til 12:00, but at least I have my afternoons and nights free.
I’m not sure how to backtrack and get through what’s happened in the last 2 months... Classes finished, I controlled tests, graded said tests, said goodbye to students, met the new PCVs who arrived in country in October, threw a beach party for the new volunteers, took over complete control of REDES (yikes!), went to South Africa to pick up Will who happened to get stuck in London, spent Christmas with my new family, spent New Years with Will (finally) at the beautiful beach, saw 4 of the big 5 in Kruger, took several hot showers and ate home cooked American food, and... well, started year 2 of being a volunteer.
The last few months have been anything but dull and have taught me a lot about how far I’ve come in the last year. When my brother was here, I was about to show him around, to let him into my life here in Africa. It was fantastic when he met my adoptive families, when he saw my house and my school, walked through the market with me, met my friends, and saw the beautiful country I live in. It felt somewhat like two worlds colliding at moments- I kept having to remember my little brother was actually visiting me in Africa!- but absolutely wonderful. The holidays definitely made me miss home, but coming out the other side and starting school is helping with the homesickness.
Kruger was great!! I didn’t take but one picture, but my brother took at least 2,000 while he was here so I’ll find a way to link you to them if you’re interested in looking. The first few moments in the park we drove upon zebras, impala, water buffalo, and elephants. A few minutes later we ran into giraffes and a rhino. It was crazy!!! And so many monkeys! I’m so glad I finally made it there and I had the best time with Will. It was so hard to leave him at the airport- I wanted to jump on the plane with him.
This year is going to be so different from what I’ve been used to. My teaching schedule is completely different, I’m in charge of one of the biggest secondary projects in the country, it’s the 50th anniversary of Peace Corps and I’m on the planning committee, I can finally speak Portuguese and will be learning Changana, I have friends and family, and I’m for the most part comfortable here. I still have my moments of thinking “what the hell did I get myself into here!” but not as many as before. I promise, now that I’m back in school and FINALLY on a schedule, I’ll start writing more blogs and try to keep you up to date.
Oh, one thing- when I came home I found 5 puppies in my backyard. They’re still somewhat scared of me but I think I’m going to get the best of them- I don’t have to feed them or take care of them but they watch over my house and I get company when I want it. I’m kinda scared to name them because they have the potential to get stolen but we’ll see.
I’m not sure how to backtrack and get through what’s happened in the last 2 months... Classes finished, I controlled tests, graded said tests, said goodbye to students, met the new PCVs who arrived in country in October, threw a beach party for the new volunteers, took over complete control of REDES (yikes!), went to South Africa to pick up Will who happened to get stuck in London, spent Christmas with my new family, spent New Years with Will (finally) at the beautiful beach, saw 4 of the big 5 in Kruger, took several hot showers and ate home cooked American food, and... well, started year 2 of being a volunteer.
The last few months have been anything but dull and have taught me a lot about how far I’ve come in the last year. When my brother was here, I was about to show him around, to let him into my life here in Africa. It was fantastic when he met my adoptive families, when he saw my house and my school, walked through the market with me, met my friends, and saw the beautiful country I live in. It felt somewhat like two worlds colliding at moments- I kept having to remember my little brother was actually visiting me in Africa!- but absolutely wonderful. The holidays definitely made me miss home, but coming out the other side and starting school is helping with the homesickness.
Kruger was great!! I didn’t take but one picture, but my brother took at least 2,000 while he was here so I’ll find a way to link you to them if you’re interested in looking. The first few moments in the park we drove upon zebras, impala, water buffalo, and elephants. A few minutes later we ran into giraffes and a rhino. It was crazy!!! And so many monkeys! I’m so glad I finally made it there and I had the best time with Will. It was so hard to leave him at the airport- I wanted to jump on the plane with him.
This year is going to be so different from what I’ve been used to. My teaching schedule is completely different, I’m in charge of one of the biggest secondary projects in the country, it’s the 50th anniversary of Peace Corps and I’m on the planning committee, I can finally speak Portuguese and will be learning Changana, I have friends and family, and I’m for the most part comfortable here. I still have my moments of thinking “what the hell did I get myself into here!” but not as many as before. I promise, now that I’m back in school and FINALLY on a schedule, I’ll start writing more blogs and try to keep you up to date.
Oh, one thing- when I came home I found 5 puppies in my backyard. They’re still somewhat scared of me but I think I’m going to get the best of them- I don’t have to feed them or take care of them but they watch over my house and I get company when I want it. I’m kinda scared to name them because they have the potential to get stolen but we’ll see.
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