Scooter, Liz and I were in a bus this afternoon on our way into the city. Liz was sitting in the back and I was standing in the aisle just in front of here. I looked over and saw a boy looking at his phone, pointed in Liz’s direction, and then hear the “click” of the camera. I grabbed at his phone- “You can’t take a picture of my friend! What, is she the first white person you’ve ever seen? You’ve got to be kidding me, delete the picture.” He (obviously) wouldn’t give me his phone, but then from the other side of Liz an older woman said, “What do you think you’re doing? You don’t take pictures of people you don’t know. That’s not right. Delete it.” The young girl sitting between Liz and the boy watched as he deleted the picture, the whole time saying, “Why would you do that? You’re an idiot, taking a picture of someone you don’t know.” Meanwhile, a man standing next to me turns to everyone else on the bus and point out what this boy did. “He took a picture f this girl he doesn’t know. He’s obviously not educated. Why would someone do that? This isn’t a zoo, he’s an idiot. Can you believe him?” Everyone on the bus started shaking their heads and agreeing that the boy is an idiot. I could hear their side conversations also, about why would he do that and he really needs to learn respect and get an education. Next thing I know the boy called for a the next bus stop- I’m not sure if he actually wanted to get off at that stop or just wanted to get off the bus as fast as humanly possible before he was humiliated even more.
I was so thankful and impressed by how everyone on the bus stood up for us and reprimanded this boy (he was about 16 or 17 years old). People in this country are very nice, but typically will not stand up for other people, much less themselves. I am very impressed by how the situation was handled. Oh, and just after the boy got off and the man who was standing next to me sat down, a woman carrying a baby got on the bus and the man got up and offered her seat. Again, this is NOT typical. Very impressive and inspiring day.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Little Victory
While walking in downtown Maputo this afternoon, I watched a group of eight 2nd and 3rd graders run into traffic two different times, narrowly missing getting run over. I caught up to them and told them how dangerous these roads are and they need to make sure to look both ways before running into the streets, as they’d been doing. To my complete surprise, after running off ahead of me, I see them stop and look both ways before jumping out into the next intersection. I was so proud. Baby steps…
Also, I am fully aware of the comical relationship between this post and Small Scare
Also, I am fully aware of the comical relationship between this post and Small Scare
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
To Anonymous
In reply to your comment to the post Small Scare, “you seem to drink as much as the men in this country so therefore you got what you deserved”- you can go f*** yourself. I have the right to drink as much as I want, but nobody has the right to treat me like trash or to HIT me with their car. Nobody has the right to make me think that what happened last weekend was my fault. And considering YOU wrote “this country,” I’m only assuming you are also in Mozambique. People like you, whoever you are, are the reason I second guess why I’m over here in the first place and if the last 2.5 years of my life have been worth the fight.
Please stop reading my blog if you’re only going to post hateful and offensive things.
Please stop reading my blog if you’re only going to post hateful and offensive things.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Small scare this weekend
I want to preface this post by saying NOBODY was physically injured, I promise. Scooter is OK.
So this weekend Scooter and I went to the city on Friday to get some work done at the office and spend some time with Jenna before she went back to the states. We went out to Teacher’s Bar, our spot in the city, and had a few drinks with other PCVs and some visiting RPCVs and friends. At about 10:30pm, Scooter, Gracey, and I (Gracey was Moz 13 and the National REDES coordinator before me, now here doing an internship with USAID for the summer) got a cab back home. We went to the taxi “stand” out in front of the hotel we were next to, where it’s super easy to get a cab but you always have to fight to get the right price. After arguing a bit with one driver, who refused to give us the correct price, another driver walked up and said “150mets, yes, that’s fine. Let’s go.” We agreed on 150mets to drop us in two locations that are on the same street, only about 1km away from each other. When we dropped Gracey off, the driver decided he wanted more money, and he wouldn’t take Scoot and I home until we agree to pay more. So we got out of the car to walk home (it was a well lit street and no more than a 10 minute walk). The driver jumped out of the car, “Women don’t slam doors!” We argued for what seemed like a few minutes about the price. I think what upset him the most was the fact that two women were standing up to him. Well, Scoot tossed the money into the car, “Fine, we’ll walk. We’re done with you.” As we walk away, I had a weird feeling. I was on the sidewalk (which is virtually nonexistent) and Scoot was barely in the road. All of the sudden, Scoot was on her back at my feet. The driver had HIT HER WITH HIS CAR! (Again I will take this opportunity to say Scooter is fine, she was not hurt by the car). Of course he sped off and I was not able to get the license plate number (yes it would’ve been helpful but I was a bit more focused on Scoot on the ground.) After he sped off and Scoot was on her feet, not bleeding or hurting, we stopped and thought about what had just happened. Did he actually do that? How could he do that? Yes, we were pissed at him and clearly he was upset with us, but to run us over with his car? Well, we called our Safety and Security Officer to explain the situation. The next day we went to track him down (we didn’t have his name, number, or license plate number) but we found out who he was and when he’d be working next. Scoot and I had to come back home, but the SSO is working to clear up the situation.
The driver hit Scooter perfectly, in a sense that it terrified her (and me), knocked her down, but did not hurt her. I don’t want to say I go around pissing people off, but I am a strong woman in a male dominant society. I’ve never thought something like this (or more extreme) could happen, especially over something as trivial as the price of a 2 minute cab ride. Again, Scoot is fine, but the event has shaken us up a little. And lowered (if that was even possible) my opinion of men in this country.
So this weekend Scooter and I went to the city on Friday to get some work done at the office and spend some time with Jenna before she went back to the states. We went out to Teacher’s Bar, our spot in the city, and had a few drinks with other PCVs and some visiting RPCVs and friends. At about 10:30pm, Scooter, Gracey, and I (Gracey was Moz 13 and the National REDES coordinator before me, now here doing an internship with USAID for the summer) got a cab back home. We went to the taxi “stand” out in front of the hotel we were next to, where it’s super easy to get a cab but you always have to fight to get the right price. After arguing a bit with one driver, who refused to give us the correct price, another driver walked up and said “150mets, yes, that’s fine. Let’s go.” We agreed on 150mets to drop us in two locations that are on the same street, only about 1km away from each other. When we dropped Gracey off, the driver decided he wanted more money, and he wouldn’t take Scoot and I home until we agree to pay more. So we got out of the car to walk home (it was a well lit street and no more than a 10 minute walk). The driver jumped out of the car, “Women don’t slam doors!” We argued for what seemed like a few minutes about the price. I think what upset him the most was the fact that two women were standing up to him. Well, Scoot tossed the money into the car, “Fine, we’ll walk. We’re done with you.” As we walk away, I had a weird feeling. I was on the sidewalk (which is virtually nonexistent) and Scoot was barely in the road. All of the sudden, Scoot was on her back at my feet. The driver had HIT HER WITH HIS CAR! (Again I will take this opportunity to say Scooter is fine, she was not hurt by the car). Of course he sped off and I was not able to get the license plate number (yes it would’ve been helpful but I was a bit more focused on Scoot on the ground.) After he sped off and Scoot was on her feet, not bleeding or hurting, we stopped and thought about what had just happened. Did he actually do that? How could he do that? Yes, we were pissed at him and clearly he was upset with us, but to run us over with his car? Well, we called our Safety and Security Officer to explain the situation. The next day we went to track him down (we didn’t have his name, number, or license plate number) but we found out who he was and when he’d be working next. Scoot and I had to come back home, but the SSO is working to clear up the situation.
The driver hit Scooter perfectly, in a sense that it terrified her (and me), knocked her down, but did not hurt her. I don’t want to say I go around pissing people off, but I am a strong woman in a male dominant society. I’ve never thought something like this (or more extreme) could happen, especially over something as trivial as the price of a 2 minute cab ride. Again, Scoot is fine, but the event has shaken us up a little. And lowered (if that was even possible) my opinion of men in this country.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
JUNTOS Workshop
This weekend I went up to Gaza province, my old province, for a JUNTOS workshop. It was a last minute discussion but I'm so thankful I was able to go! It was two full days of activities and sessions, involving 41 students, 5 Mozambican facilitators, and 5 PCVs. Most of the conference was very enjoyable, but a few events or conversations stand out in my mind.
Sex Words.
There was an activity where students went around the room and wrote slang terms for words like penis, vagina, breasts, and sex. First off, what a great activity to get kids saying words that they are normally to shy to say. I was very surprised to learn that there is not much trepidation when using these terms in Portuguese, yet they virtually never use the words in Changana, their local language. Apparently there is a distinct heaviness to the words which makes them taboo and creates discomfort. This creates a barrier of communication: older generations will not use the words, therefore they will not talk about sex with their children, and since sexual education does not exist in schools, young people are left with no manner to learn about sex or receive accurate information. Well, this session was great to watch and listen to. After writing all the words we asked the session facilitator to repeat the words in front of the group, lightening up the mood and showing that it's ok to use these words. He was SO uncomfortable!! For a minute I thought he wasn't going to repeat them out loud. He eventually did, with extreme difficulty and embarrassment. The kids laughed and laughed, which is to be expected, but at least they became a bit more comfortable with it all. Also, I was surprised at their lack of slang terms. While all this was happening, in the back of the room the Americans were creating a list of our own. Out of 10 words, we came up with over 100 slang terms. Impressive.
Gender Roles
Gender roles are very prominent here in Moz. Women clean, cook, stay at home, raise the kids, and are submissive while men drink, build houses, drive cars, and go to school. The facilitator asked if women were able to go out into the pastier with the cows. A girl exclaimed “No! That's for men.” I stood, “Ok, it's a job mostly men do. But if I wanted, am I capable?” “No. You're a woman.” “So, just because I don't have a penis and I have breasts, I'm not capable of doing the same work as men? Just because a man has a penis it means he can drive but can't help clean the house?” This definitely made her stop and think (FINALLY!). I tried to direct the conversation to abilities rather than traditions. Yes, culturally men leave the house to work and women stay behind, but does that mean women are not capable? Anyone who knows me knows I get very emotional and involved in conversations like this, because so often women don't know how capable they are.
About 30 minutes later, when the session was about the relationship between man and wife, the same girl exclaimed “It's ok with a man cheats on his wife. A woman is for one man but a man is for everyone.” Are you kidding me?!?! “That's just how it is,” was her response. It's so hard to to comprehend their thought process; how conditioned they are to forcefully stand up for abusive, drunks and cheating husbands and stand down to equal rights for women. I know I've grown up in a different culture, in a time where men and women are equal and we have (compared to here) the same rights and opportunities. I will never get used to or become comfortable with women saying the things this girl was saying.
Her worst comment, the “gem” of the conference, was when we were talking about being pressured or pressuring someone into sex. She stands and says, “Yes, girls always say no, no, I don't want to. But behind every No is really a Yes.” SERIOUSLY!?!? I think the worst part of it all, besides the fact that she actually believes when she says, is that all the boys in the room broke out into clapping and cheering after she said it. Some days I feel like my work here is going nowhere, but I refuse to give up.
Small Groups
Many of the conference participants are in their late teens and quite vocal. However some are early teens, lack a lot of information about sex, and typically keep their mouths shut and not ask questions. We decided to break into groups of about 5 people and discuss tough issues in detail, giving the younger ones a chance to ask questions without a room full of people listening. I think I got the youngest girls. A few didn't know what sex was or what it involved. I dove right in to explaining as much as a could in an hour (turned out to be a lot, actually). I was so thankful to be able to give these girls real, concrete information. And because none of them are girls I will see again, they felt comfortable to ask me things they would be embarrassed to ask the PCV in their town.
Personal highlight from the weekend: One of the girls from my small group stood up at the end of the conference and said, “I've learned so much this weekend, and I'm very thankful for the experience. The thing I'm most thankful for is learning how to satisfy myself, so I don't have to rely on a man in my life.” Apparently she was taking notes when I was talking about masturbation. Good for her!!
Sex Words.
There was an activity where students went around the room and wrote slang terms for words like penis, vagina, breasts, and sex. First off, what a great activity to get kids saying words that they are normally to shy to say. I was very surprised to learn that there is not much trepidation when using these terms in Portuguese, yet they virtually never use the words in Changana, their local language. Apparently there is a distinct heaviness to the words which makes them taboo and creates discomfort. This creates a barrier of communication: older generations will not use the words, therefore they will not talk about sex with their children, and since sexual education does not exist in schools, young people are left with no manner to learn about sex or receive accurate information. Well, this session was great to watch and listen to. After writing all the words we asked the session facilitator to repeat the words in front of the group, lightening up the mood and showing that it's ok to use these words. He was SO uncomfortable!! For a minute I thought he wasn't going to repeat them out loud. He eventually did, with extreme difficulty and embarrassment. The kids laughed and laughed, which is to be expected, but at least they became a bit more comfortable with it all. Also, I was surprised at their lack of slang terms. While all this was happening, in the back of the room the Americans were creating a list of our own. Out of 10 words, we came up with over 100 slang terms. Impressive.
Gender Roles
Gender roles are very prominent here in Moz. Women clean, cook, stay at home, raise the kids, and are submissive while men drink, build houses, drive cars, and go to school. The facilitator asked if women were able to go out into the pastier with the cows. A girl exclaimed “No! That's for men.” I stood, “Ok, it's a job mostly men do. But if I wanted, am I capable?” “No. You're a woman.” “So, just because I don't have a penis and I have breasts, I'm not capable of doing the same work as men? Just because a man has a penis it means he can drive but can't help clean the house?” This definitely made her stop and think (FINALLY!). I tried to direct the conversation to abilities rather than traditions. Yes, culturally men leave the house to work and women stay behind, but does that mean women are not capable? Anyone who knows me knows I get very emotional and involved in conversations like this, because so often women don't know how capable they are.
About 30 minutes later, when the session was about the relationship between man and wife, the same girl exclaimed “It's ok with a man cheats on his wife. A woman is for one man but a man is for everyone.” Are you kidding me?!?! “That's just how it is,” was her response. It's so hard to to comprehend their thought process; how conditioned they are to forcefully stand up for abusive, drunks and cheating husbands and stand down to equal rights for women. I know I've grown up in a different culture, in a time where men and women are equal and we have (compared to here) the same rights and opportunities. I will never get used to or become comfortable with women saying the things this girl was saying.
Her worst comment, the “gem” of the conference, was when we were talking about being pressured or pressuring someone into sex. She stands and says, “Yes, girls always say no, no, I don't want to. But behind every No is really a Yes.” SERIOUSLY!?!? I think the worst part of it all, besides the fact that she actually believes when she says, is that all the boys in the room broke out into clapping and cheering after she said it. Some days I feel like my work here is going nowhere, but I refuse to give up.
Small Groups
Many of the conference participants are in their late teens and quite vocal. However some are early teens, lack a lot of information about sex, and typically keep their mouths shut and not ask questions. We decided to break into groups of about 5 people and discuss tough issues in detail, giving the younger ones a chance to ask questions without a room full of people listening. I think I got the youngest girls. A few didn't know what sex was or what it involved. I dove right in to explaining as much as a could in an hour (turned out to be a lot, actually). I was so thankful to be able to give these girls real, concrete information. And because none of them are girls I will see again, they felt comfortable to ask me things they would be embarrassed to ask the PCV in their town.
Personal highlight from the weekend: One of the girls from my small group stood up at the end of the conference and said, “I've learned so much this weekend, and I'm very thankful for the experience. The thing I'm most thankful for is learning how to satisfy myself, so I don't have to rely on a man in my life.” Apparently she was taking notes when I was talking about masturbation. Good for her!!
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Our psychotic dog
The last few days Amenduim has been acting insane- constantly crying, yelping, trying to run away, and being all out annoying. We attribute his ridiculous behavior to a female dog that’s in heat close by. Well, last night after hours and hours of making noise, all of the sudden nothing. Like a small child, I knew his lack of fussing meant he was up to something. I ran outside- he’d jumped over the 6 foot cement wall next to our house, and was still chained to the house. I couldn’t tell at first, but thankfully the extra long chain he has allowed him to land on the other side of the wall without hanging himself. Scoot jumped the wall and rescued him, which did not make him at all happy. A few minutes later we heard another dog on the other side of the wall and Amenduim’s cries were heart wrenching. Maybe we broke up his puppy love.
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Anyways, he is not a big dog and our wall is high. AND he knew he was still attached to the house. Let’s hope this ridiculous dog behavior passes soon.
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Friday, June 1, 2012
Drunk men = chega
On our way back from Xipamenine, a GIANT outside market where Scoot and I like to buy used clothes, jackets, shoes, etc, we got into a chapa who's cobrador was belligerently drunk. The corbrador is the person in charge of opening the door, taking money from passengers, calling for stops, etc. When the chapa would stop, he would stand there confused as to what was happening. Someone would give him money and he would just stare at it. Several times Scoot and I got worried (is that the right word?) he was going to fall out of the chapa or slam his head in the door. Finally, a man who was standing at the front of the chapa made a comment- “How can you come to work like this? It’s a disgrace. You should go home, be ashamed of yourself.” The drunk man attempted to defend himself but without being able to form sentences it was difficult.
This situation made me think of several things. Firstly, I am so over the drunk men in this country! No matter what time of day it is, no matter where you are, you WILL run into a drunk man. Many times they keep to themselves, but all too often they do not.
Next, why did it take 15 minutes for anyone to speak up about what an embarrassment this man is? And once the man who spoke up got off the chapa, nobody else made mention. This behavior is just accepted here. The woman sitting next to me just said, “Oh he just likes to drink” and she rolled her eyes.
Maybe I’m blowing this out of proportion- maybe being publicly intoxicated and drunk on the job is not that big of an issue. But alcohol abuse has so many negative consequences. Ignorance to this leads to a hyper tolerance of this behavior and fails to stop preventable accidents. Although I have not blogged about it, as I still have no words to describe my feelings and heartbreak, two of my fellow PCVs were killed by a drunk driver last December while three more were injured and evacuated from the country. This tragic accident could have been prevented, with education on the effects of alcohol and its negative consequences. Here in Mozambique, there is no education on the effect of alcohol. Many times people tell me they drink while driving to keep them from feeling tired.
Alcohol is a topic that not only is a daily annoyance in this country, but one that has the potential to ruin lives. I and several other PCVs are working to incorporate alcohol education into the school system and/or any other medium of education transmission. Hopefully we can make some sort of difference in how Mozambicans view alcohol and its effects.
This situation made me think of several things. Firstly, I am so over the drunk men in this country! No matter what time of day it is, no matter where you are, you WILL run into a drunk man. Many times they keep to themselves, but all too often they do not.
Next, why did it take 15 minutes for anyone to speak up about what an embarrassment this man is? And once the man who spoke up got off the chapa, nobody else made mention. This behavior is just accepted here. The woman sitting next to me just said, “Oh he just likes to drink” and she rolled her eyes.
Maybe I’m blowing this out of proportion- maybe being publicly intoxicated and drunk on the job is not that big of an issue. But alcohol abuse has so many negative consequences. Ignorance to this leads to a hyper tolerance of this behavior and fails to stop preventable accidents. Although I have not blogged about it, as I still have no words to describe my feelings and heartbreak, two of my fellow PCVs were killed by a drunk driver last December while three more were injured and evacuated from the country. This tragic accident could have been prevented, with education on the effects of alcohol and its negative consequences. Here in Mozambique, there is no education on the effect of alcohol. Many times people tell me they drink while driving to keep them from feeling tired.
Alcohol is a topic that not only is a daily annoyance in this country, but one that has the potential to ruin lives. I and several other PCVs are working to incorporate alcohol education into the school system and/or any other medium of education transmission. Hopefully we can make some sort of difference in how Mozambicans view alcohol and its effects.
Who needs lanes!
The main highway in this country is one lane each direction, typically with no shoulder. On our way back to Namaacha yesterday we hit some traffic. The one lane turned into three, with people driving half sideways on the non-existent shoulder and speeding the wrong way into oncoming traffic. I think I should’ve been a bit more concerned about my or others’ safety, instead I was just annoyed that people were cutting us off. Have I been here too long?
A guide to understanding your PCV
So anyone who's talked to me in the last 2.5 years has personal experience of not being able to understand half of what I say. Here's a blog post that a fellow Moz PCV wrote which I find hilarious, and maybe it will help understand me a bit ;)
The Pale Blue Dot: 4/24/12 – A Peace Corps Mozambique Phrasebook: A G...: Do you have a Moz (R)PCV in your life who won’t stop falaring about that chapa to the mato that was maningue demorrared? Did you no...
The Pale Blue Dot: 4/24/12 – A Peace Corps Mozambique Phrasebook: A G...: Do you have a Moz (R)PCV in your life who won’t stop falaring about that chapa to the mato that was maningue demorrared? Did you no...
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