JUNTOS Workshop

This weekend I went up to Gaza province, my old province, for a JUNTOS workshop. It was a last minute discussion but I'm so thankful I was able to go! It was two full days of activities and sessions, involving 41 students, 5 Mozambican facilitators, and 5 PCVs. Most of the conference was very enjoyable, but a few events or conversations stand out in my mind.



Sex Words.

There was an activity where students went around the room and wrote slang terms for words like penis, vagina, breasts, and sex. First off, what a great activity to get kids saying words that they are normally to shy to say. I was very surprised to learn that there is not much trepidation when using these terms in Portuguese, yet they virtually never use the words in Changana, their local language. Apparently there is a distinct heaviness to the words which makes them taboo and creates discomfort. This creates a barrier of communication: older generations will not use the words, therefore they will not talk about sex with their children, and since sexual education does not exist in schools, young people are left with no manner to learn about sex or receive accurate information. Well, this session was great to watch and listen to. After writing all the words we asked the session facilitator to repeat the words in front of the group, lightening up the mood and showing that it's ok to use these words. He was SO uncomfortable!! For a minute I thought he wasn't going to repeat them out loud. He eventually did, with extreme difficulty and embarrassment. The kids laughed and laughed, which is to be expected, but at least they became a bit more comfortable with it all. Also, I was surprised at their lack of slang terms. While all this was happening, in the back of the room the Americans were creating a list of our own. Out of 10 words, we came up with over 100 slang terms. Impressive.



Gender Roles

Gender roles are very prominent here in Moz. Women clean, cook, stay at home, raise the kids, and are submissive while men drink, build houses, drive cars, and go to school. The facilitator asked if women were able to go out into the pastier with the cows. A girl exclaimed “No! That's for men.” I stood, “Ok, it's a job mostly men do. But if I wanted, am I capable?” “No. You're a woman.” “So, just because I don't have a penis and I have breasts, I'm not capable of doing the same work as men? Just because a man has a penis it means he can drive but can't help clean the house?” This definitely made her stop and think (FINALLY!). I tried to direct the conversation to abilities rather than traditions. Yes, culturally men leave the house to work and women stay behind, but does that mean women are not capable? Anyone who knows me knows I get very emotional and involved in conversations like this, because so often women don't know how capable they are.

About 30 minutes later, when the session was about the relationship between man and wife, the same girl exclaimed “It's ok with a man cheats on his wife. A woman is for one man but a man is for everyone.” Are you kidding me?!?! “That's just how it is,” was her response. It's so hard to to comprehend their thought process; how conditioned they are to forcefully stand up for abusive, drunks and cheating husbands and stand down to equal rights for women. I know I've grown up in a different culture, in a time where men and women are equal and we have (compared to here) the same rights and opportunities. I will never get used to or become comfortable with women saying the things this girl was saying.

Her worst comment, the “gem” of the conference, was when we were talking about being pressured or pressuring someone into sex. She stands and says, “Yes, girls always say no, no, I don't want to. But behind every No is really a Yes.” SERIOUSLY!?!? I think the worst part of it all, besides the fact that she actually believes when she says, is that all the boys in the room broke out into clapping and cheering after she said it. Some days I feel like my work here is going nowhere, but I refuse to give up.



Small Groups

Many of the conference participants are in their late teens and quite vocal. However some are early teens, lack a lot of information about sex, and typically keep their mouths shut and not ask questions. We decided to break into groups of about 5 people and discuss tough issues in detail, giving the younger ones a chance to ask questions without a room full of people listening. I think I got the youngest girls. A few didn't know what sex was or what it involved. I dove right in to explaining as much as a could in an hour (turned out to be a lot, actually). I was so thankful to be able to give these girls real, concrete information. And because none of them are girls I will see again, they felt comfortable to ask me things they would be embarrassed to ask the PCV in their town.

Personal highlight from the weekend: One of the girls from my small group stood up at the end of the conference and said, “I've learned so much this weekend, and I'm very thankful for the experience. The thing I'm most thankful for is learning how to satisfy myself, so I don't have to rely on a man in my life.” Apparently she was taking notes when I was talking about masturbation. Good for her!!